Headaches and Hope

Wow....these headaches are horrible. I've suffered from them my whole life so I'm quite used to the intermittent weekly headache. These are different though and last all day every day. My RE office doesn't want me to take any other medication other than that which I'm currently on. So, I've been suffering. The only thing that seems to help is sleep--which I've also really been wanting to do a lot of. I think it's a combination of the medication and remnants of jet lag. My next RE appt is Wednesday. I'm hoping they will bend a bit and let me take something to help ease the head strain.

In more positive news, I just found out today that my co-worker and his wife are pregnant. Normally, I wouldn't be as excited about this news. However, they have worked long and hard for this baby. They went through years of fertility treatments and nothing worked. They had resigned themselves to the possibility that they would remain childless. They have been trying for 15 years and are both in their mid forties and have never seen a positive pregnancy test. She is now twelve weeks along. Stories like these give me hope and I'm thrilled for them.

Hysteroscopy Report

So, I had my post-op appointment today. Basically, I'm right back to where I was before the hysteroscopy. They found a little bit of weird tissue and removed it. It was polypoid in nature (or something like that). However, they don't believe that this would have had any affect on my getting or in my case--not getting--pregnant. Sigh..Nor do they have any idea as to why I would get pregnant three times in one year and then not get pregnant at all the following year. I'm really not sure where to go from here. I was hoping that this surgery would provide us with a reason.

Does anyone have any information on weight and ability to conceive? That's the only thing I can think of...as discussed here before multiple miscarriages, fertility meds, etc have caused me to pack on probably 30 pounds. I'm still within my bmi range and everything else blood pressure, etc is perfect. It's just the only other thing that's different. This weight should be easy to lose but I just have no motivation. I think its a combination of feeling sorry for myself and being pissed off at my body for betraying me. I need to do it though. I'll kick myself if I don't do everything possible to make sure ivf is successful. If only I didn't love food so much.

I also still have no idea what is going on with ivf/pgd. I am to call them next week when af arrives. They hope to have more information for me then. It is apparently extremely complicated when dealing with my insurance and pgd. I'm hoping by next week at this time we will have a concrete plan in place (a girl can dream, right).

Finally, I survived my sister's baby shower (made easier by the fact that I didn't have to physically be there). It went well and she got a lot of great presents. She's happy--so that's a great feeling.

Pregnant

Nope, not me instead my little sister. Who apparently wasn't planning on trying until January and was shocked she got pregnant so easily! She's 7 weeks along now. This is farther then I've got in any pregnancy (other than my blighted ovum). She's majorly sick (like to the er sick) so I'm sure this is going to stick for her. When she told me this morning my heart literally sank. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for her...but also devastated. I've always been a really strong person but today is the first day I really cried about our infertility. It's just not fair that what comes so easily to what feels like everyone else is so hard for me. Even worse, my sister didn't even ask if I was ok or how I was handling the news. Just started crying and talking about how sick she has been. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to keep going from here but I know that I need to. We're never going to maintain a pregnancy if we don't just keep trying. If only this wasn't so hard.