8dp5dt

I'm at a conference right now and thousands of miles from home. I arrived yesterday and was completely sleep deprived. The turbulence was so bad on the way here that there were several times I was certain the plane was going to fall out of the sky. It was in that sleep deprived state that my co-worker took me to target last night to buy some pregnancy tests. I (being a constant poas'er) had brought along some internet cheapies. I've been getting what I've thought were evaps on them since yesterday---trust me they are super, super faint. So, just wanted to get this over with and have the ability to drown my sorrows in alcohol while at the conference. I picked up the target brand box next to the FRER's. This morning when I pulled them out instead of being pink dye they were blue. I remember reading blue are famous for their evaps. I'm hoping this isn't one of them. The test line was a line before the control line even popped up. According to the t.arget instructions that's all I'm looking for -- 2 lines. My internet cheapie also has a line. It's faint but it's pink. Did this seriously work for me? I'm a little in shock right now--I broke down when I saw the second line. It's so late in the game. Beta isn't until Sunday. Please send your positive thoughts my way.



Edited to add--Thanks for all the support! It is so very much appreciated. I'm hoping these lines continue to get darker and this is actually our sticky bfp. Because I couldn't stand not knowing if this was real or not, I went to buy some FRERs, pretty sure this is a bfp. (sorry for the poor quality photo all I have is my phone).

6dp5dt

And a glaringly white bfn this morning. I've never  had a bfp later then this, so I'm fairly certain this cycle was a bust. Disappointing but not really surprising. Especially considering the quality of the rest of my eggs. Beta won't be until Sunday now as I'm going out of town and my clinic doesn't want me to go to another lab. So, I get to continue injecting myself with PIO shots even though all I'm seeing is - poas tests. So, that's really quite annoying.
Mr. F and I have been talking a bit about next steps. At this point we're both fairly comfortable saying my eggs are out of the picture--unless our RE has some new information for us. So, we're trying to decide between donor eggs and donor embryos.  Neither of these will likely happen for another year as we're making a huge move at the end of the summer and we want to settle into our new home and jobs first. I've been doing a lot of research on cost, guarantees, etc. and there is an overwhelming amount of information. I had thought for sure that Mr. F would want to pursue donor egg first. However, after talking to him more about costs, second children, etc. he seems to be leaning towards donor embryo. If anyone readers have done either or researched either, I would appreciate your advice and comments. Thanks again for all your support.

One Good Embryo

That's the news I was greeted with at the REs office. One is better then none...but still disappointing when starting with so many. The CGH results were interesting. Only four of my embryos carried an unbalanced translocation. The others had various problems with other chromosomes. One thing we did learn is that my eggs are jacked. If this doesn't work we aren't going to do another cycle with my eggs. We will be moving straight to donor egg.
The embryo we transferred is of very high quality (exactly what it's graded I'm not sure). I was only told that it's an early stage blastocyst and that it looks beautiful. It's a girl. My first beta is on Tuesday.

Going Crazy....Waiting

So far, so good....there's been no phone call. However, my REs office has only been open for 20 minutes and I doubt they would have jumped immediately to my file and results of my chromosome testing. Every time my phone vibrates (I have a blackberry and get a lot of email so it vibrates a lot) I'm sure that it is the phone call of doom to tell me there were no good embryos. Dang, and I've been so zen up to this point. I've asked for no information and received no information---other than the initial fertilization results. Send some good thoughts up for me ladies. Really hoping I get to transfer something.

Fert Report Results

25 Eggs
21 Mature
19 Fertilized

Hooray! I have 19 embryos growing in the lab. I won't hear anything again from the clinic until Monday when they call to set up my transfer. I am able to call them if I want to check-in on the embryos but am thinking I don't want to do this. Too much stress worrying about the day to day results and what they mean. I'll either have embryos to transfer on Tuesday or I won't. Stressing about it all weekend isn't going to change the results. (I'm zen now but we will see how I'm feeling this weekend)!
Thanks for all your support thus far. It's been amazing.

They Got Some Eggs

25 to be exact. We are thrilled and hoping for an amazing fert report tomorrow! I'm at home resting but feeling really good. Tomorrow can't get here fast enough.

Retrieval Scheduled

It will be Thursday am. Still lots of follies today. The biggest was around 20 and most fell into the 17-18 range. E2 was 2100 yesterday--apparently gan.irelix is supposed to lower e2. I'm wondering if I should be nervous...
Onto trigger this evening. The nurse gave us a nice big mark to put the shot into. Can't believe that I'm finally here...dang it's been a long haul.

Trucking Along

These follies are growing slow! My RE keeps telling me that its common with the protocol I'm on and that all my follies are close together which is awesome. I guess Gani.relix will slow the largest ones down. Apparently my ovaries are kicking this cycle, which was nice to hear. I've got 15 around 17-18 and 9 right behind at 15-16. I'm going for another appointment tomorrow to see where we are at. At the earliest retrieval will be Thursday but it's looking more likely that it will be Friday.

Wanted to send a congrats to my fellow BT'er Stinky who found out today that she had a healthy embryo to transfer and is now PUPO!

Milestone Passed

I am actually going to get to retrieval! All went well today. I've got a lot of follicles....I'm not sure exactly how many because I was so excited seeing them all I forgot to ask. I think it was somewhere around 16 plus about 7 more measurable but smaller. So, we'll see. Either way RE said this is not a good or adequate stim but an excellent stim (from lil old me)! Apparently my body just did not like the suppression from the long l.uteal protocols. One more follie check appointment on Monday and it's looking like retrieval will be on Wednesday!

This may be the protocol for me!

Today I had 13 follies between 10-11 and at least 6 right behind at 9. RE is much happier with my response this time and said we seem to have found the protocol that works for me. We still have retrieval scheduled for Tuesday (retrieval--can't believe I may actually get there) but it's more likely to get pushed to Wed or Thursday. Happy to have gotten this far and hoping the follies keep growing. Next appointment is Saturday.

After 4.5 days of stims

I have 16 follicles in the running. They are all right around the same size 7-8. There may be more or there may be less--apparently it's difficult to tell when they are at this stage. Either way, it sounds like I'm at least at or above the results of my previous cycles. So, yay for that and may the follies continue to grow.

I also had blood drawn for my e2 levels. I'm not super concerned about them as I'm on gan.irelix this go round and from what I've read this can screw with e2 results. So far, so good.

One patch and a pregnancy test later..

I started my estrog.en patches yesterday and will head in for a pregnancy test tomorrow (no doubt it will be a bfn). Then I head off to my first appt of this ivf cycle for ultrasound #1 and a shot of gan.irelix. Stims officially start on Friday with a retrieval happening in mid-November. Hoping that my ovaries do what they are supposed to do this time and that all of my resting follicles grow--rather then just a few. This is it for chances with our insurance so hoping for the best.