March 31, 2011


So, we're getting there. We've nailed down July as our official IVF start date. Our RE should be calling us sometime soon to set up a calendar. They've also been in contact with the pgd lab. Though, it seems like we will actually being doing cgh. I think they are still trying to determine what exactly will be the best method to deal with our bt. I'm excited, nervous, fearful--pretty much every emotion. Of course I really want this to work but am so scared that it won't. On my worst days I think I should just say screw my eggs and go straight to donor egg. Then I talk myself out of it and decide it's really worth trying with my own eggs.

There's been a lot of stuff going on lately with friends and family and some of it has been really bothering me. I've had to listen to my sister complaining about her baby shower--she's upset that people aren't getting her things off her registry (or expensive enough things). It's really hard for me to bite my tongue during these conversations. I had a friend who was pregnant (accidentally of course). She chose to terminate and told me afterwards. So, I've been helping her through that. The b.itchy part of me thinking--wtf world is everybody going to pregnant except me. There's more but I don't share it on my blog, yet.

Back to ttc news, my hysteroscopy is going to be next month. It got delayed as there were scheduling difficulties. I'm not sure what I want the outcome to be. If they find something it'll make me feel like the last 12 months make sense. If not, then I'll worry something else is wrong. Most of the time I wish I had the ability to see into the future (maybe only for ttc events). I never know if I'm making the right decisions.