The Waiting Game

I've been patiently waiting. Well as patiently as I am able to wait. I finally got in to see the specialist this week that was supposed to tell us everything about our translocation (REs) words. Unfortunately he was unable to tell us anything we didn't already know. So after waiting a month to get into see him, I'm now being sent to someone else. I have more faith in this next appointment but to say I'm frustrated would be an understatement. All Mr F and I want to know is whether we are able to biologically conceive our own child. If so, then we have already decided we're willing to keep playing the odds game and will survive any losses that come our way. However, our RE has us on birth control because he wants to make sure natural is the best decision--the other would be IVF w/PGD ($20k price tag for those unfamiliar). So, here we sit in this purgatory. Wasting time and waiting for answers.

On the subject of wasting time, I am so sick of Drs telling me not to worry and that I'm young. Granted I'm in my early 30s. This is probably on the young side for those visiting REs. However, it is abundantly clear that it's not going to be an easy road for me to have a child. This BT complicates everything. Just having a child may take years and I'd like at least 2. So, don't on one hand tell me to try to have all my children by 35 and then on the other tell me how young I am. I don't really understand how that math works out.

I'm really just kind of in a bad mood right now. I just want some answers so Mr F and I can make a decision on how we want to proceed in building our family. Supposedly, we may get them next week. With the way things have been going, I'm not holding my breath.

Current Ruminations

I have been on vacation for the last 2 weeks and it was wonderful. Even more exciting, I come back to visit my blog and I have comments! Thanks so much for your support. I thought for sure I would be mostly writing this to myself. Mr F and I had a great break from work and thinking about babies. We visited family and friends that we haven't seen for awhile. I was a bit worried as there were a lot of new babies to visit. My best friend and her 3 day old son, my husbands cousins 5 month old, and my new 5 month old nephew. I wasn't sure how I would handle being around them all but I'm happy to say I did really well. It definitely reaffirmed my desire to have our own children. I also found out that several cousins on my mothers side are having difficulty conceiving. My mother is fairly certain that the BT is from her and now my extended family is wanting to be tested for this as well. I'm hoping for all of them that they aren't affected as my journey thus far hasn't been fun.

On the doctor front I visit the specialist on Wednesday to determine exactly "how bad" my balanced translocation is and what the likelihood of us having a biological child will be. Our RE is pushing us towards IVF w/PGD but doesn't want to battle with the insurance company until we figure out exactly what our odds are. I'm torn as the opinions of whether IVF w/PGD is the best option for a BT are extremely varied. Not to mention this procedure is extremely expensive. So, many unknowns. Many times I think it would be wonderful if we could just be told that something will or not work with 100% accuracy.

I said I would talk about books as well and I've read a lot of them recently. 20 hours on planes and in airports provides a lot of time to read. I'm recently really into fantasy, including stories about vampires. I also like mysteries. While I was gone I read grave sight by Charlene Harris and quite enjoyed it. I also read the vampire chronicles as I hadn't yet read the series. I wasn't overly impressed as I think I had hyped it up far too much in my mind. Finally, I rounded my reading off with the morganville vampire series. They are written for young adults--but I have to admit I'm ok with that. Overall an enjoyable first two books and I'm looking forward to reading the next few.