I guess I feel like if I get pregnant easily then I am better able to withstand the 10 miscarriages that might happen before I get my first take home baby. If I can't get pregnant easily then it just puts me that much farther away from my goal. And so I hope, that this is the cycle. I read way too much into symptoms that could just be leftover from the hcg trigger or the fertility medications I was on earlier this cycle. It's going to be a big disappointment if this cycle didn't work. We leave for vacation on Wednesday and depending on when AF shows up, we may have to sit out next cycle (med wise). Man, I hope this is it.
November 17, 2010
I've convinced myself that I'm pregnant this cycle. Earlier I had red spotting for one wipe. Now my nipples are on fire. The only possible conclusion, I'm pregnant. After all, I more then deserve it. The only thing I had going for me before (we're talking ttc here) is that I could get pregnant fairly easily. Now, I'm not even doing that. It's been 6 months since my last miscarriage. I know that for many this doesn't seem like a long time. But, for me, it feels like a lifetime.
November 14, 2010
I got to head out on a nice little vacation for the weekend. A friend and I went to the west coast for a few days. The primary reason I was there was for a conference but I managed to squeeze some fun and sun in as well. It was a much needed break and has helped the 2ww progress a bit faster.
While I was there I had a bit of a scare with some bright red spotting happening out of nowhere. I'm only 4dpiui so there's no way that it could be implantation spotting. I guess I'm not sure what to think but one more thing to worry about and bring up at the next RE appointment.
My sister goes for her first doctor appointment this week. I'm nervous for her but hoping that all is well and goes well. She has tricare so I guess she's not sure if they will do an ultrasound for her at this appointment or not. I'm still feeling pretty sad about the whole situation but trying to be the bigger person and work through those feelings on my own.