March 31, 2011

Progress

So, we're getting there. We've nailed down July as our official IVF start date. Our RE should be calling us sometime soon to set up a calendar. They've also been in contact with the pgd lab. Though, it seems like we will actually being doing cgh. I think they are still trying to determine what exactly will be the best method to deal with our bt. I'm excited, nervous, fearful--pretty much every emotion. Of course I really want this to work but am so scared that it won't. On my worst days I think I should just say screw my eggs and go straight to donor egg. Then I talk myself out of it and decide it's really worth trying with my own eggs.

There's been a lot of stuff going on lately with friends and family and some of it has been really bothering me. I've had to listen to my sister complaining about her baby shower--she's upset that people aren't getting her things off her registry (or expensive enough things). It's really hard for me to bite my tongue during these conversations. I had a friend who was pregnant (accidentally of course). She chose to terminate and told me afterwards. So, I've been helping her through that. The b.itchy part of me thinking--wtf world is everybody going to pregnant except me. There's more but I don't share it on my blog, yet.

Back to ttc news, my hysteroscopy is going to be next month. It got delayed as there were scheduling difficulties. I'm not sure what I want the outcome to be. If they find something it'll make me feel like the last 12 months make sense. If not, then I'll worry something else is wrong. Most of the time I wish I had the ability to see into the future (maybe only for ttc events). I never know if I'm making the right decisions.

6 comments:

  1. Hey thirtiesgirl...about your comment with respect to just jump to DE...you owe it to yourself to completely exhaust your options first before going that route. Otherwise you'll always wonder what if? For me, even though we did not do IVF with my OE...I came to the DE process feeling like I had got all the answers I wanted and did not need an IVF cycle to prove that I could do it. SOO much was riding against. BUT there is nothing wrong with at least exploring the option while you undergo IVF with OE. Take care...

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  2. I think it's worth trying IVF, at least once, with your own eggs. Seems like that'd be something you might regret not doing if you went to donor right away.
    My fingers will be crossed for you.

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  3. It always feels good to have a plan. Glad you were able to nail down your IVF cycle month date. It is an emotional roller coaster. I try to just focus on today (I feel like a 12 stepper - taking it one day at a time) because if I let myself think about the future, I get scared by all the "what if's". I find it's not helpful to focus on those but to just focus on what I can do today to help get my body ready for what's to come. Take care!

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  4. I think you're making the right decision. I'm also glad to hear you'll be doing CGH which is head and shoulders above PGD. It was not an option at the clinics I went to but I remember researching it and being impressed by it. Fingers crossed for your hysteroscopy (and the subsequent all clear).

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  5. That's great that you have a start date for your IVF! I agree with the others, trying at least once with your own eggs seems like a good idea so that you can avoid the "what-ifs". Good luck with the hysteroscopy.

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  6. Yay, it feels so good to have a plan. If I have left over meds they are all yours! I am starting in a couple weeks.

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