As you may know, I'm getting older. So last night I was thinking if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant three more times in the next year that will put me at 32 1/2 with potential no children (I've seen ladies w/BTs with 8+miscarriages and no children). How much longer would I keep trying after that? Should I start looking into alternatives more seriously? These are all of the things I think about when I can't sleep and let the positivity drift a bit. Sometimes I wish we had started this process much earlier--but can't turn back time now. I at least have some satisfaction that we didn't wait as long as friends/family would have had us. So many times I got the so & so had her first baby at 37 and now she has 2 children. If I had waited until 37 I would have a much smaller chance of ever having a biological child... Now to break out of this funk.
September 11, 2010
One of Those Days
I'm having one of those days where I'm not sure if this is ever going to work out for us. I question how many more miscarriages I will be able to handle. How many more months of tracking ovulation, etc. I can mentally take. I feel strongly for you ladies who've been at this longer than me. Additionally, there are just so many things about this process that are annoying to me. For instance, I have ridiculously late ovulation. We're talking day 22-24 and I have only a ten day luteal phase. So, I feel that I spend most of my month just waiting to ovulate! And spend a ridiculous amount of money on fertility monitor sticks that continuously read low. Additionally, because I have a longer cycle then average I don't get as many tries as others during the course of a year.