January 12, 2011

Detached...

That's how I feel about this current cycle. I'm not temping, I'm not tracking symptoms, and quite frankly I feel rather removed from the whole process. I mean, I'm giving myself the shots every day but it doesn't really seem to register. It's just part of the routine. I thought a lot about why I'm reacting this way and I'm not sure. I'd like to think it's because I'm more zen and that the yoga, acupuncture, etc is helping my stress levels. It's more likely, however, that because the other cycles failed I'm not expecting this to be the miracle cycle. Also, knowing that IVF/PGD is an option has taken a bit of the weight off. At least we have somewhere to go if this doesn't work.

My first follicle check was pretty uneventful. I'm following the same protocol as my last cycle. Once again I have a lot of eggs. It looks like 3-5. My lining is already a 9.3 and triple stripe. We're looking at IUIs on Monday and Tuesday. My RE seems a bit perplexed as to why I haven't gotten a positive test yet. I'm not sure either but it's something I worry about a lot. I'm hoping that the 2ww can be as calm as the first half of my cycle. Hopefully at the end I'll get that bfp. If not, life goes on.

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